Radvent Day 12: Acceptance
|OMG it's a rainbow|
Sorry. I'll stop being snarky. Not sure why I'm being so snarky.
It's wonderful and fitting that after yesterday's "rejection" post, today is "acceptance."
I have a confession to make. Years ago, when Scott & I first got together, we would regularly attend Saturday's Dharma Talk at the San Francisco Zen Center. I really enjoyed the talks, and as it was my first foray into Buddhism, learned a lot. I remember leaving every week feeling refreshed and relaxed. I also practiced meditation back then, fairly regularly. All of this left me feeling calmer inside.
I haven't done any of the above in 6-7 years, sadly. Life gets in the way, excuses are made, you know what I mean. And I've lost some of my inner shimmer. I've become kind of nasty in my own mind, to people I don't even know. I judge others and myself without uttering a single word. This is poisonous, toxic behavior even though I don't let others know how I feel ... perhaps because I don't let others know. I don't like feeling judgmental and intolerant inside my head, particularly when I've built a life around being open minded and out of your biz.
Being more accepting of myself and those around me is something important to me that I'm trying to work on. As of now I've not made it back to the Zen Center, but hopefully soon (we've had ceramics class at 10am on Saturdays, the same time as the Dharma Talks ... but now that class is over). I need some serious chill time with the universe so I can stop thinking negative thoughts.
I'm participating in Radvent this year via the ever-awesome Princess Lasertron, and you should too!