Tuesday, November 20, 2012

"But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared..."

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I could so very seriously fall asleep in these leaves right now, except now they're wet, and that's gross. 

Oh, internet. I have so many things I want to say to you. Remember back when I journalled online in high school., and it was 1999 and I would come home and write about my day? So many little things seemed to happen back then, and I thought they were all pretty big things, and I could write about them on the internet, which was so small, and no one I knew ever read what I wrote who wasn't already part of my inner circle of "friends who use the internet" (well, unless I forced them, which did happen). Days seemed so long then, too ...

But all day I've been sitting here with this blank box open, hoping to write, and the only thing I can think right now is that I just want it to be Thanksgiving already. I need time off. I really, really need time off. And how each day, especially since Jeffy got sicker, has raced by in a messy blur, and the only real lesson I've been learning is that I have very little control over my life right now. For someone who loves control as much as I do, this is a major shitstorm, and I feel exhausted, helpless, even weak.

But really, I have no reason to complain, because tomorrow I will walk out of work at noon, and I won't come back until Monday. I only have 1/2 of a day of work left before 4.5 days off. Suck it up!

...it is now 10pm, again, and I've yet to finish this post. Ugh. Story of my life these last few weeks.

Sucking it up! Commencing: now.

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there. My heart is really with Jeffy and you and Scott. He has the sweetest wittle cat face; I could die. Give him extra pets and cuddles from me. And treat yourself to a piece of pizza during your mini-vacay...you deserve it.

    I don't remember you from quite as far back as HS but it was...around the time you started studying geography in college. I read enigmatic.org for a while before LJ and god, I can't even believe LJ was I don't know, twelve(ish) years ago(?). I really like that you still keep it old skool with the online journalling. It's very refreshing and I always really liked your writing voice.

    Enjoy your holiday plans, whatever they may be and hold Jeffy and Zeke and Mowgli and tell them you love them (oh yeah, Scott too heh).

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    Replies
    1. I read your comment last night, then thought about it ALL DAY. And not because I wanted pizza ;)

      Thank you so much. This meant a lot to me.

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