Thursday, July 12, 2012

Currently...

Untitled
Very "bay area" sort of graffiti

Missing — Oregon. This is nothing new; my homesickness has been growing significantly over the last few years, but during an Oregon summer, its even worse. I miss my mom, I miss my friends, I miss the amazing state I left nearly 15 years ago. Do you pine (har, tree pun, get it?) for your home state? How do you deal with it when you only get to go home once per year? It feels like its eating away at me slowly, a wound that won't heal and only gets larger over time. Its like I'm 16 again, newly moved to Los Angeles, dreaming of home; only now, I'm 30 and its much more real. I remember being a child, having such a wonderful childhood there. I know "you can't go home again," but you can if you have a realistic expectation about how much things have changed. What I can't deny at all is this: Oregon is where my heart is, and somehow, sometime during my life, I need to live there again.

Dreaming —Of Lilith Fair, apparently. On Tuesday night I had a long, involved dream about going to what turned out to be a Lilith Fair reunion festival with my friend Amanda. It was totally weird, as most dreams are, and I won't bore you with the details, but it was equal parts fun & bizarre. I never got to go to Lilith Fair back in the 90s (when I would have been a much better candidate for it, believe me!) but even though I don't relate as much to the feminist-lesbian-hippie-chick movement as I did back then, I would totally go now. Just for the record.

Loving — How great it feels to take a long, hot shower at night. I was able to take one last night (instead of going on a run, ahem), and with new (much-needed) shampoo to boot, and it was wonderful. Taking a shower in the morning is cruel in a lot of ways; like throwing a sleeping rodent into a bucket of water! You know what I mean? Taking a shower at night feels like a luxury. I really enjoyed that.

Laughing —At the newest episode of Futurama. Scott & I fell in love while watching Futurama, have I mentioned that here before? Well, its true. And we were so thrilled when we learned it was coming back to TV a few years ago. We think its as good as it ever was, and often better.

This isn't from last night's episode, but it does feature the same character, Captain Kirk Zapp Brannigan:



Wishing —That all of our financial problems could melt away. That I could be magically not tired. That I could commit to becoming a full-time photographer and not feel like its too much work and too much risk. That we could move to a larger house with a yard where we could have a garden and a dog and maybe even more than that. That we were in Oregon, or at least near any kind of family. That my hair were naturally red. That time would slow down. If wishes were horses, I'd have a stable full of them, you feel me? But I don't get too caught up in that stuff. I try not to, anyway. That's a lot of horse dung.


I'm linking up this week (see below!), and hopefully in future weeks. I love this idea of weekly prompts. 

This Amazing Day

6 comments:

  1. I was a transplant to Oregon and I long to go back every single day. The biggest regret of my life is probably leaving Portland. I really do not like Long Island and NYC isn't exciting after living a stone's throw away for twenty five years. It's crowded, noisy, dirty, the people have gotten considerably nicer post 9/11 but they are still mostly assholes. Living on Long Island where the socioeconomic divisions are so visible (you can literally cross a street from one of the most dangerous crime riddled towns into one of the wealthiest ones where Susan Lucci lives) makes me resentful. The fact that there is no affordable housing for young people makes me hate it here even more. Things weren't all roses (get it? Portland is the Rose City ;-) when I lived in Portland but even when things were really really bad I could take a walk along the waterfront and at least be grateful to be where I was.

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    1. I at least really love SF. I mean, I've lived here longer than I've ever lived anywhere else -- 100% by choice. Its funny, because I never thought I'd want to go back to Oregon again (as a young person) but guess what? I'm not 18 anymore. And Oregon is awesome. And so many people I know are moving there right now and I just want to kick dirt on them out of jealousy ;)

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  2. Missing home is HARD. I find that the older I get, the more I miss home - a place I intentionally moved away from when I was younger. I do love where I live now and it does feel like home to me, but there are definitely things that about where I grew up that just can't be replicated. I suppose the grass is always greener, right?

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    1. I feel just the same! I do think that as we get older, home begins to mean more to us, though. I had a really nice childhood and I don't think I ever appreciated that until I got old enough to KNOW that.

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  3. I love the name of your blog! :)

    And I know exactly what you mean about taking a shower at night. I always feel like i can take my time and relax a bit, whereas in the morning, I have to rush and feel stressed before I've even left the house!

    Thanks for sharing!

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