Monday, April 23, 2012

To infinity .... and beyond (?)

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Turning 30 is a trip, man. I know it hasn't happened yet, but its happening soon, and the pieces are starting to fall into place for my birthday month. There are a lot of plans swirling around, and not a lot is set in absolute stone, but I am looking forward to some of these possibilities:
  • A weekend in Monterey/Pacific Grove
  • Opening my 2nd-ever art show on my birthday (June 17th)
  • Attending a concert on June 1st at Thee Parkside
  • Hopefully (!) attending Live 105's BFD concert on June 2nd (Jane's Addiction/Garbage/Cake/Geographer/A B & The Sea/Wallpaper/etcetcetcetc/omgbestlineupever)
  • Scrambling to finish stuff on my 30 before 30 list
...and more, I'm sure! SF Pride happens at the end of June, too, so there will be that. I do love my birthday month, it seems like all of the best things in San Francisco start happening all at the same time.

I still can't quite believe I'm turning 30. It feels like a dream. I am not afraid. Well, maybe I am, a little, but nowhere near like what I thought I'd be. I don't know what the future holds anymore, not really, and that's where the fear comes from. I am ready to make the very most of my life. It scares me that at this point, my father's life was 2/3 over, but I really can't allow myself to think that way. I can only live my life as best I can.

I feel like I'm staring over the edge of a cliff, and beyond the cliff lay the unknown. Much like another important point in my life (high school graduation), I am nervous, but mostly, I'm excited. Haven't you ever wanted to close your eyes and just jump? I'm doing that again now, except this time—unlike when I had just turned eighteen—my eyes are wide open.

1 comment:

  1. I would give ANYTHING to go back to 30, lol... I figured out who I was then, finally... I was me. My 30's have been fabulous and I have a feeling that you will make yours the same.... and jump and feel the breeze and say "hell yes" :D

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