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Thoughts on the past, present and future

Hello. I'm sure you've forgotten about me, but I haven't forgotten about you. It's been a minute or two, though. Let's get down to brass tacks. I've been reading old blog posts for the last few days. It surprised me that I was interested in doing it, and it's brought up a multitude of feelings.

Most of all ... it really strikes me how normal my life used to be back before everything fell apart. I used to get excited about such mundane things -- cooking, photography, football, my cats, running, even things as small as onions or making salsa. I used to think making these plans felt important, like I was in charge of my own life. As if life were going to continue on like that ad nausem, forever, and I was so fortunate to experience it like that.

I had no idea how fortunate I was to have a normal life until I lost it. Now, it feels like nothing will ever be normal again. The last year has destroyed me in ways I never knew I could be destroyed. There is nothing…

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